A Complete Waste of Time
A Complete Waste of Time is a forum adventure by clandestineTechie revolving around a bunch of trolls (of the homestuck variety) playing a strange MMORPG called META. Unlike a typical command-based adventure, CWoT is primarily story-driven, though commands still influence the means by which the narrative is explored. Plot Synopsis META : "MEETAA, aas iits naamee iimpliiees, iis noot aaboouut wiinniing buut raatheer hoow yyoouu wiin" :: --AA on gameplay META is an immersive RPG that the trolls have started playing. Upon installation, the player is transported to a realm of fantasy. All players are transported to the same session universe, but each player is placed in a different part of the world. There are several different character classes a player is assigned that cover the spectrum of typical RPG archetypes. New installations also add material types, and initialize part of the world. Players have access to a HUD (usually first accessed in a fit of rage or stupidity), which contains the ATLAS (a map), BANTER (a chat room with all current participants), COMPETENCE (special abilities), and DOSSIER (stats) tabs. After every player installs, four more tabs are added: EXCHANGE (presumably trading), FACTIONS (may have something to do with the dream world), GOALS (shows player progress), and HIERARCHY (ranks players based on various factors). On the dossier, there are four stats that can be raised with points earned at every level: PHYSIQUE (strength), ALACRITY (dexterity), WIZARDRY (magical power), and PIZZAZZ (charisma). There are also two other stats listed, KARMA and ESTEEM, which can be raised but not from points. Karma is raised by kind acts to other players, and is dropped by killing other players. Esteem is effectively karma with NPCs, and relates to how well known the player is among the populace. When a player joins, their dungeon is added to a metaphorical chain, linking the players together. Thusfar the only goal of META is to complete all of the dungeons, starting with your own, and then working down the line as players join. It has been confirmed that after all players join, the chain loops back around. VP's diary has alluded to "keys" and an "egg" that unleash a beast of immense power, presumably a final boss. Killing monsters is unique in META in that the way you kill a monster is more important than whether or not you were victorious. Depending on a character's class, being sneaky, accurate, flashy, or otherwise clever in your attacks nets a player huge EXP bonuses. Devas Players also get two clones called devas that represent their conscience. The positive one, represented in crayon gold, only cares about everyone else and will argue to do what is right for the team. The negative one (purple) is only concerned about the implications of actions on the player they represent. They can be killed off (quite easily), which is supposed to destroy part of the player's psyche. Plato was unaffected by killing his devas because he never makes moral decisions. The devas reside in the player's representative dungeon until it is completed by that player for the first time, at which time they are freed into the game world. It is unknown what they do after that, but they do still contact the player whenever they go to make decisions. They speak with both the typing quirk of the character they advise and virulentPanacea's or permanentVenom's. Dream World When players fall asleep in META, they wake up in some sort of dream world. The land of "Philan" corresponds to the positive devas, and "Mizan", the negative. The author has verified that the "+/-trolls" are not the same as the devas, and according to permanentVenom because Plato destroyed his negative deva, he cannot dream in Mizan. Presumably destroying a deva removes your ability to dream in the corresponding land. When the corresponding deva is killed, the +-troll violently explodes. Characters aegisMason : "mos to fm ybandwidt hi sspen to nth ecamera s,oka y" The first troll introduced in the adventure. The player attempted to nickname him Infinity, but Lorrex hated the idea. He used to cloak himself in a white security blanket that got lost sometime before entering META. Lorrex is a cyber security expert and his home is littered with traps and security cameras. He was part of the sgrub session ages ago, and was partially responsible for it going downhill. After a series of ridiculous events he ended up unconscious on his front lawn, and when he woke up he presumably had a lot of messages to check. He joined META, and formed "Tea mBette rTha nPlato' sTeam" to combat the difficulty curve. migrantMorality : "|t see/|\s to be do|/\/g f|/\/e \|/|thout /|\y |/\/ter\/e/\/t|o/\/." After Lorrex had a lapse in judgement, the player became Viridian. The player called her Missing and Rude when she dream walked away from sight. Viridian is a wanderer, who has complete control over the natural world (plants, minerals, and animals). When talking to plants she connects to the great life network and can also be contacted via instant messaging. Personality-wise, Viridian is a bit of a loner. She isn't particularly interested in teamwork and prefers to be self-sufficient. Sometime in the future of META, Viridian will pacify the sea denizen STEELMOLAR, and use it as a personal boat. entertainingAmmo : "DUDE i cant BELIEVE what i just FOUND" Chad is the third playable troll in the adventure, and first one mentioned after Lorrex. He is a total badass with yoyos, as he knows all the tricks and invents new ones "to keep ahead of the crowd". He used to live in a giant warehouse of unknown size, and spent his days going on adventures finding new cool stuff. Chad organizes his findings based on how cool they are, on an arbitrary scale of "coolians". He seems to have reckless disregard for how little his friends actually care about the things he does. Despite his friends' advice, Chad stacked his naturally high pizzazz stat in META. Instead of brute-forcing combat, he uses his wits and coolness to get mad bonus EXP. He has also used his high PIZZAZZ stat to become incredibly wealthy, and famous among the NPCs. mishapEngineer : "chill man, calm down, 3his 1nt 2ake you long im 7ure" Rick is an inventor who is greatly talented but bored often, so he designs things that will intentionally break. When he was first introduced, the player attempted to name him Rikako Asakura, a girl's name. Rick is the first character introduced to not refer to his friends as jackasses, and actually seems to like them. His right arm is an extendable cyborg hand. Rick, along with Moira, Lorrex, Lyanne, and prescriptionMiasma, played some form of Sgrub in the past. Because of this, he has a lot of experience with games and is doing pretty well for himself. patienceEngine : "...PE thinks you guys are being a bit rude!!!" Moira was the fifth playable troll. She has the ability to stretch her perception of time indefinitely, which arose after an accident involving an attempt to fly. This is probably linked to the fact she idolizes WINGED ARBITERS and has a strong will to enforce justice on evil. Moira has a very overactive imagination and sometimes gets "a bit carried away". She chose gray as her typing color instead of her blood (presumably blue) because she is modest. In META, Moira is the defender class, which can alleviate other players' penalty on death by sacrificing a level. In return, she earns karma points and is granted angelic wings. Despite her leveling handicap, she is still the most powerful naturally-leveled player. Her role as a guardian of sorts seems to be getting to her, as she has begun setting out to enact justice as she sees fit, including (ironically) killing Camille for killing Plato. Moira may have been responsible for Viridian's accident in the past. EE said "?o what !? your next move? You got her !nto th!?. !t'? your call." This could be just saying that because PE got Viridian the plant she needed to water she was indirectly responsible. Equally likely, she is responsible for the meteor itself. ethicalProxy : "who do you think you are kidding?* :*: it's not me Layla is of the conjurer class, and wields in fire and ice magic. Prior to META, she was an ace attorney who was constantly bailing Plato out of trouble. EP is slowly becoming more and more obsessed with gold, already adorned in a golden cape, jewelry, and a highlight in her hair. Whenever EP says something, it happens, however Layla has yet to accept that there is some magnificent power at work, rather praising her remarkable intellect. She really is pretty smart, having advised EA through the early stages of the game. EP and EM are collectively referred to as "the twins", because they share the same horns and a very similar symbol. They are not directly related, though. As of late, her relationship with Plato has been becoming increasingly strained. equitableMasochist : "i n=v=r mak= moral d=cisions i go with my gut" Plato is a well-dressed, cold-hearted heartless criminal with some really good connections (namely Layla, his moirail). He's been responsible for a lot of under-the-table shenanigans and doesn't seem to blink at the idea of murder. EM desires a leadership role, which he may have attained to some degree already, as the other players followed his lead early in game. Later, when he formed the "Winning T=eam", only Layla and Chad joined. Soon after entering his dungeon, he encountered and killed both of his devas because they were annoying him. He was supposedly unchanged, because he never makes moral decisions, though Cerana believes he has recently become "more of a jerk". aphoticPuppeteer : "the_ last_ thing_ you_ will_ see_ will_ be_ your_ ritzy_ blue_ blood_ on_ my_ knife_ coming_ out_ of_ your_ black_ heart_" Camille is a gamer at heart and competitive to a fault. After an arson incident in her past, AP developed powers of invisibility (and an uncontrollable temper), making her a very frightening assassin. She has a very strong vendetta against Plato, after PM told her that he was responsible for an arson incident in the past. She is capable of change, though, as towards the end of her arc she contemplated forgiving Plato for the past (if he was even responsible to begin with). EE has alluded to her eventually teaming up with Plato and friends. automaticEnd : "thisPlayer->understand = false;" A skilled hacker who has, among other things, completely broken her installation META to give her max stats, materials and gold. Because she is such a high level by comparison to the other players, everything has been made incredibly difficult for everything else because of META's level balancing mechanic. She joined META out of boredom near the end of the chain, even though she was one of the first to get the client. Her right eye is cybernetic. AE has given an air of being very manipulative in the interest of entertainment, and seems like she would be good friends with PM. She is easily bored, even when getting involved in important, end-game aspects of META, and falls asleep from lack of interest. prolixAntiphon : "ive just never played anything quite like this there arent any colorful jewels to line up or words to form theres just a lot of dangerous things everywhere what kind of game is that ill tell you its not a very fun one" PA knows very little about META, despite being one of the first to start playing. She prefers casual games, and gets more of a thrill out of the social experience of META than the competition or goals. For a while she was traveling with AA, but somewhere along the line she fell asleep and they have since parted ways. Cerana has spent most of the game trying to locate her dungeon, to no success. Recently, she began doing quests instead of hunting monsters. She is also half fish now. Neat. prescriptionMiasma : "I can bArelE hEar U over the sound of mE not giving a shit." PM's plot relevance is quickly approaching singularity. She is the server player of the troll's META session, responsible for distributing the client, or everyone will die. In game, she is referred to as "the goddess", which will no doubt create shenanigans now that she is playing. PM also seems to have invented wireless communication technology, which was directly responsible for introducing the idea of violence to the peaceful utopian planet of Seconia. Some time in the past, the trolls also played some version of sgrub, and PM was partially responsible for nearly getting everyone killed. For the most part, the other trolls bear animosity towards PM. Whether it is the result of previous events or her rude, sarcastic demeanor (or some combination of both) is an unknown quantity. percolatedPlasma : "IU EWIUSHG I HAD A WEAPONB RIGHT NOIW" If it's one thing PP does, it's hate everything, constantly. He's an instigator, trying to stir up hate between the META players, and is very interested in murdering Chad for years of endless babbling about his daily discoveries. He is incredibly irritable and hateful, and his trolltag reflects this (or might just be tired of hearing about Chad's daily exploits). During a pesterlog, he destroyed his keyboard in rage. He is represented by the alchemical symbol for Potassium, which is a notably reactive element. aimlessAlchemist : "eeveen wiith myy taaleents II'd bee haard preesseed too coomee uup wiith aa uusee foor leeaad" AA appears to be the most knowledgeable about META, or at least the value of various entries to the supply index and how to utilize them. This makes sense since she was the first to enter the game. Even though AA is apparently female, PA has referred to her as "him". mindProspector : "oh god i won't even handled the pressures!" Little is known about MP, other than he seems to be a mildly competent META player and dresses like a total hipster. enigmaEducator : "You do not need to be ?o formal w!th me !f you don't want to. !t !? a b!t un?ettl!ng." A sea-dwelling troll who is in close contact with prescriptionMiasma. The two installed very close together, and immediately formed a separate group (Team ?ovre!gn). EE said he would still inform the other players of their dungeon locations, but otherwise they would work alone. EE is vaguely alluded to being omniscient or at least very well informed. He contacts PE to let her know that Viridian is drowning, and asks what her next move is. muteAspersion : "this game sucks" We know absolutely nothing about MA other than she is playing META, has died often due to AE unbalancing the difficulty curve, and has a problem with multiplayer games. Seems very antisocial. Other characters Characters not among the 16 players. For the players, they're sort of like super NPCs. virulentPanacea : "Iph you do not turn back, I will be phorced to remove you to save what is important to me." VirulentPanacea, earlier known as ??, is the very powerful Queen of Philan, at level "255" and infinite stats. Her class is listed as +Asc.Defender. VP was first seen convincing Chad to join META, which chronologically happened after talking to Rick about joining. VP seems to be motivated to get other people to play META, and once there, maintain order in Philan. After a series of complex events, VP killed her negative deva, attained level 100, and rose to power as the Queen of Philan. At the end of VP's session, she decided to stay in META instead of going home, and has presumably resided there since. In the intermission, Virulent is a purist- an ithic that refuses to use metal, though she is shown to be curious about its origins. permanentVenom : "Hey worthlezz, glad you could make it here without fucking up more zhit." Though never mentioned in VP's diary, it is implied permanentVenom stayed in META as well. He is as negative as VP is positive, rude and callous to those he talks to. In his session, PV is described by VP as an enemy. To contrast this, at the beginning of the intermission, Permanent is shown having the polite, grammatically correct structure every other ithic talks with. It is unknown at this time what caused this dramatic shift. Otherselves This chart shows what the current status of the trolls' other selves are. Trivia * Most characters thusfar have done something mundane that was a complete waste of time. Whenever it happens, the title drop is bolded. * Each character arc is covered in 35 pages. It was coincidence up to the end of the EA arc. ** The EP/EM arc lasted 70 pages after a 2x Introduction Combo. Tropes *Color By Technicolor - Entire adventure, outside of some stylized panels. *Gorblesnatch von Humperdink - Seconia's original name *Hello, Insert Name Here - In compliance with standard homestuck troll introduction procedure. *Red Darts - End of Lorrex's arc. Also, If Cerana goes unconscious one more time this adventure she is going to be PISSED. *Voices In My Head - Especially Viridian, even to the point where she tries to find ways to get rid of them. *You Are Now This Guy - Every introduction, like clockwork. Category:Adventures Category:clandestineTechie Adventures